one- you are not what you do, you are how you act.
two- you will outgrow people and it is okay.
three- be selfish more often than you think you should.
four- love the ones you are with
In short, looking back on the past few months, it could definitely be said that there has been no opportunity missed for growth. To start with, my first lesson happened in the beginning of September when I changed circles of friends (i.e, went from a huge circle of friends and feeling like I was close to everyone on campus to a small group of friends), lessened my commitments to extracurriculars in order to focus more on academics and to relieve some stressful weight off my shoulders. This ultimately turmoiled me into a state of feeling identity-less. I have always grown up feeling defined as an academic, a twin, a daughter, a friend, a sister, an athlete of a certain sport, a member of "such and such" club, sorority or by the group of friends I have, etc. Losing so many "identifiers" or "titles" of who I perceived myself to be, was incredibly confusing because I felt that all of a sudden, I had no way of knowing or explaining who the real Lindsey truly was. But one day, I woke up with a hard-hitting slap of reality and came to the conclusion that it is not what you do that defines you, it is how you act. What matters most is how you love people, how you care for and help people, how you inspire others, how you put your creativity and skill set to use, how you lift others up, and so on. Ultimately, your character defines you, not what you are involved in or who you surround yourself with.
Lesson number two is pretty simple and straight-forward. It is also one thing I wish I could tell my twelve-year old self because it would have saved a lot of heart-ache through the years, especially since I had always taken everything so personally. However, I wouldn't have learned it had I not gone through it enough times to finally grasp the lesson I had been in the process of being taught all this time. So hopefully it helps those of you in a similar situations but no matter what, you will outgrow people and you know what? It isn't the end of the world! Crazy right? In fact, it is completely normal and one hundred percent- OKAY. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you but it does and can hurt deeply to lose friendships when you care about them but at the end of the day, if someone is removed from your life, it is for a reason. "If something no longer grows you or serves you, grows you or makes you happy" then let it go.
On to lesson number three... Now, this one was pretty tough to admit to and took some swallowing of my pride to learn and it is that I can't do it all and be there for everybody but myself and take on a jam-packed schedule. I had to go through a complete breakdown of exhaustion plus getting pneumonia right before and during finals in December to open my eyes on how important it is to be selfish. Not in the, "all about me, 24/7" kind of selfish but the selfish in which you actually take time for you and your wellbeing and to being non-stop 24/7. It's a tough reality to swallow, one I still struggle with because who doesn't like to believe that we are invincible and can take on everything all at once? But the simple truth is that we are human- we are not supermen and women. In some ways, we can be, characteristically speaking, but we can not fully embody them every second of every day because it is inhuman. As much as we care for others, we forget that we need to look out for ourselves too. Even if you say you are "fine" or "strong enough" or you "can handle it" and "can do it all", believe me, it is possible to literally wear yourself out and will happen eventually- not at any time you expect it but it will happen and I am proof. It was not worth the long recovery from pneumonia and exhaustion that bent up from stretching myself so thin for the past year and a half. I am not saying it is bad to put others first or get involved in a lot of things, but make sure you are making yourself a priority too.
Your health and wellbeing are so important. If you are feeling ill, there is a reason. Be in tune with your mind and body because a small cough or something that you think is not a big deal can be way worse than you believe. I know this because my only and oldest sister, Lauren, passed away at 24 years young on February 4, 2015. She was a CrossFit athlete who embodied the definition of strength, intelligence, health, joy and light however, as healthy and strong as she was, she passed away from heart failure because it could not compensate enough for the amount of fluid building in her lungs due to bronchitis that turned into pneumonia. She did not go to the doctor until it was too late because she thought she could handle it. The doctor is there for a reason, even if it seems something so easy to get over, you are not invincible at any age. I miss and love my sister more than I could ever explain in words and losing her was one of the hardest challenges God could ever give me and my dear family. I will have a post that covers more about her and the journey of dealing with loss of a loved one but for now, I hope this serves as serious awareness to be selfish with your own heart, time and body when it is needed.
No explanation necessary, my fourth and final lesson is to always love the ones you are with.
"You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You are human, not perfect. You've been hurt, but you're alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to chase the things you love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend."
Bloom through your adversity, love whole-heartedly and always set your sights on something wonderful in front of you regardless of the storm you are in now.
